Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have fence marks all over my body
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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