Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
