why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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