Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
