I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
