i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
