The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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