You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
