All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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