did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
