You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
