the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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