i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just high enough for therapy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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