So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
