have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
