Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize