I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize