i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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