If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
