I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
