let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
