I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
