hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
