my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry about my life...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
