Yo dont text me then not text me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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