He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think my vagina is haunted
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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