i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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