I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your cock deserves a montage
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
