Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
