Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
