There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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