i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
