I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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