Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
