is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
