Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
