Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm like, not good at living.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
