You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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