and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
