i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
