in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
