i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize