you mean i was at the winter classic?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
there is glitter all over my balls
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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