With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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