Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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