me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
