mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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