Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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