I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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