i would punch a child for taco bell
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
