Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize