there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize