things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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