i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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