He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
