and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think my moral compass just broke
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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