So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
