you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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