Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
