why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
