Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
