16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
