She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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