Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
