i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
