You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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