If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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