You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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