Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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