I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
