I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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