it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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