There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize