You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Everyone says I win the strip club
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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