Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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