So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So many bounce houses so little time
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
