We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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