I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
