is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
