dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize