even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Randomize
