What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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